A Fixed, Determined Master Plan?

(I hope it's okay that I'm making this a separate post. I first commented, but Blogger told me it was too long.)

 #17. [The] "flow of historical experience is not tied to some fixed, determined master plan." Agree? What bearing does (or would) that view have on your conduct? Does it make you more of a meliorist, a fatalist, a pessimist, or... ?

I finally found this quote on page 114. LOL. Took me a minute. 

I read the pages before it and after it several times. And I'm still not certain I comprehend what McDermott and James mean. But you, Professor, ask me if I agree. Younger Erica would say she believed in a Master Plan and give Scriptures to "prove" why. The Erica of today believes that we humans are the ones who are here on this earth. (I'm afraid the "Ogre in the Sky" will crush me as I type because I'm about to say that I'm not so certain I believe in something or someone I can't see, feel, hear, or experience on a human level. I'm not sure there is a master plan. Like, an overall master plan for humankind nor a master plan for me as an individual.) If I don't believe in a master plan, does that also mean I don't believe in a Higher Power? Well, I just don't know. My beliefs changed when I started hearing the Biblical story of Joseph preached in a way I'd never heard before. And I started making comparisons to the heartache Joseph experienced to the heartache my children and I experienced. This phrase in Genesis 50:20, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today," angered me for the first time ever. I spent months questioning and seeking answers about where "my" God was when my family was being harmed and how a "loving" God could allow harm to my child (who God is supposed to love and protect according to other scriptures) just for the sake of helping others in my child's future. That sickens me. And perhaps isn't God's true intention. It's hard to know when you cannot talk face-to-face. 

I still have no definitive answer. But I have given myself permission to seek answers however I want. And my children have my permission to seek their answers however they want (assuming we will be as healthy as possible about it). 

Concerning your first question about the weekend's events, I have read many comments on social media (and Former President Trump mentioned it himself) stating how God protected him for bigger purposes. That makes me want to toss my cookies. How is it that a Higher Power would protect a particular candidate for political office but allow children to die daily and in some parts of our world, in droves? Not just children but innocent adults as well, people who've done no harm to anyone else. How is it that a man who was labeled a rapist by a judge still walks free, free enough to stand on a podium and ask people to vote for him? How is this part of a master plan? or part of "The Master's Plan"? I'm just sickened by much of our country in so many ways. I'm sickened by the many sins of the Church, Synagogue, Mosque... whatever other names there are for religious buildings that religious people meet in. Sins that are often hidden and not discussed. Sins that are protected by leaders while victims are vilified. 

I read further in the chapter and one of McDermott's (or maybe it is James') thoughts hit me... we are the humans here on this earth. It's our responsibility and privilege to protect and care for one another. Our responsibility. My responsibility. My privilege. 

That feels like a heavy burden yet it feels right. It's part of what drives me to get up every day, to hope, to desire change and do my best in Grad school so I might become part of the change. At least, for others who are going through things similar to what I've experienced throughout my life. And it's not because there was some master plan laid out for me to get to where I am today or where I'll be tomorrow, like that's supposed to comfort me and cause me to say that the tragedies I've experienced and witnessed are accepted by me because I'm on the other side and can use them to help many others. No. That is not truth. It's not acceptable. It's not an acceptable reason for me and for my children and those who love us to have gone through or watched us go through such horrific experiences. And I believe this for others in the world. For others in America. We make our own decisions about how we'll handle our pain and heartaches. And being gracious to ourselves as we heal and change is important. 

Oh my goodness. I don't know how long this is. So I'd better just stop. I think I stayed on topic, sorta. I'm sorry if I didn't. 

Peace,

Erica